tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-45977610289992968142023-11-16T08:48:35.392-08:00Yasmin's Living RoomI can only come if you open the door and I know all doors are open...
If we let them openMy Living Roomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09194043487980996436noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4597761028999296814.post-34125904086950433192015-09-25T03:11:00.000-07:002015-09-25T03:11:03.128-07:00
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikiqhJTqCRgBCPFvfl5Oo1k0kKJewZn4mTai-TAt4eEaMWs7zmg11T6RkLQTVOwEWrAAMH9Mgnmdklf4eXd50SzYF6RitTTbr97PhSTBMi7AmAkevM_d3OORe8e_IgbsAVx7iao2ZK4PA/s1600/3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikiqhJTqCRgBCPFvfl5Oo1k0kKJewZn4mTai-TAt4eEaMWs7zmg11T6RkLQTVOwEWrAAMH9Mgnmdklf4eXd50SzYF6RitTTbr97PhSTBMi7AmAkevM_d3OORe8e_IgbsAVx7iao2ZK4PA/s320/3.jpg" width="180" /></a><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">The world in my head is like…. </b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>*The green grass partly going yellow from the
dry season… instead of dying it put more colors on the plate.</div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>*The sky is blue and I can see the horizon, and
yet I can see every single pattern in the sky. The cloud is not white but grey
and yellow and yet its vibrant from the background. Even the moon come out and
hang out although not for long, yes the cloud is moving and covered the moon. </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>*There is a black dog with a collar chilling in
the building, yet unfinished, I don’t know if its male or female but what
matter is… it’s a dog and its healthy and its enjoying life. </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>*I am watching the mountain, the mount Agung
from where I sits, I see the whole rice field, green and inviting, it does give
peace in my mind, that the world is such a beautiful place and I am in it. </div>
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<br /></div>
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I am dancing through my mind, through my eyes, through the
bloods that runs in my veins, I do need the air so I keep breathing so I know I
am a life! I don’t have hate and love relationships with myself; all I have is gratefulness!
</div>
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I prefer people to shut their mouth if they have nothing
good and nice to say. </div>
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I am done hearing opinion out of victimized souls. Yeah, they
only know how to say pity me world and the world is bastard. </div>
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<br /></div>
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But who am I without others? Yeah I don’t need your answer! I
love you and I love me that’s all that matters.<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"></span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></div>
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<br /></div>
My Living Roomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09194043487980996436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4597761028999296814.post-47355867684163366262012-10-27T07:24:00.000-07:002015-03-15T00:22:09.448-07:00I take full responsibility of what I’ve become<style>
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What is me in this world and in my present life, of all
the choices and decision I’ve made in my life, as I am the creator of one self
and I am the masterpiece of my life. I take full responsibility of what
I’ve become. </div>
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<br /></div>
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I have allowed all the events took place in my life, I am 26<sup>th</sup>
and not once I refused. I allowed the lesson, the experiences to come my way,
wash me, break me, heal me, process me, and love me… all these things only
makes a better person in every way without removing the essence of me as a
loving, humble, and full of compassion person. I have rebirth and reborn to be
me. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Knowing and feeling and sensing that I am one whole person,
I embrace my life joyfully, I deserve in every way to have all the life I want
to have, to be the person I wish to be. The challenges keep coming my way, but
I am standing my ground. My shadows are the reflection of the opposite of who I
really am. </div>
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Only me will give the permission to allow myself to be me,
and I am the only person who responsible with my own true happiness.<br />
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<br />I am the master of my fate and I am the captain of my soul!</div>
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<br /></div>
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Yasmin</div>
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<br /></div>
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<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /></div>
My Living Roomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09194043487980996436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4597761028999296814.post-40141996444095670732011-07-28T09:07:00.000-07:002011-12-15T05:17:41.399-08:00My Imagination<div class="MsoNormal">
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</style><span style="font-family: Papyrus;">How do you want to live
your life?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">Inspiration,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">Role model…</span><span style="font-family: Papyrus;"> </span>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">Experience…</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">Lesson…</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">Does it fit you? Is this
you?</span><span style="font-family: Papyrus;"> </span>
</div>
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<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">Do you live by the “idea”
or you live by “you”?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTvu4FdRXu4I5U0K5-8V3e62dVWERCNikgBdynj71_FRoMEW6DbmugYBvgRCCuDycNiVi8dNfMRNEEZgJSHMwlm8Fy2t7IhyAmZqKV_Z_YvpuLLUb8Zo-S801vpQHTe0YkSdxwEpW2Ahg/s1600/yas.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="169" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTvu4FdRXu4I5U0K5-8V3e62dVWERCNikgBdynj71_FRoMEW6DbmugYBvgRCCuDycNiVi8dNfMRNEEZgJSHMwlm8Fy2t7IhyAmZqKV_Z_YvpuLLUb8Zo-S801vpQHTe0YkSdxwEpW2Ahg/s320/yas.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Papyrus;">Couple of years a go, I
believe I was 19, I was on the table having session with one of a doctor in
Bumi sehat, a birthing clinic where I used to work for 3-4 years. She’s one of
the many volunteer who worked there.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">She asked me, “Picture
when the last time you were happy, go back to that age”.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">Immediately I went to
Yasmin when she was 5 years old, the happiest time of my life. I will not
bragging about my past, my past is my past, it had had happen and I am in the
present time now, it is what it is and you cant manipulate time to take you
back where you’ve been, where you were and what you wished to happen, we are
here now, in the moment, nothing you can do expect to learn to surrender and
accept your life of what it is, and if you are still not happy, well it’s your
job to change it and live the way you want it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">My past is not the best
past ever, but it was the best lesson, I wouldn’t change it, and I wouldn’t ask
for a better past, I wouldn’t be smiling and laughing than I is now. I’ve made
my peace with it, and I am grateful.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">I still remember when she
said, “ Now go to the place where you think you’ll be happy.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">In that moment, I picture
myself standing by the river - by myself: I cant recognize the place, but I
remember what age I would be happy, the age has arrived “25”, my favorite
number. But it doesn’t meant I wasn’t happy along the way, I was and I am, but
that age/number meant a lot to me, I want to be 25 for as long as I remember,
and I don’t know why. But after all this time, I do understand why. But only, I
lost my whole childhood, I cant remember being a child, or being a teenager, my
mind was so focus to be 25 someday, something is waiting for me and now all
make sense, it does make sense. It was a gift, a gift from my mother, my mother
earth. And finally I stopped running, I finally stopped and able to take my
breath, deep long breath, filled my precious lungs with oxygen, and feel it
come slowly massaging my lungs, my heart and my whole body, and it feels good,
real good. Oh life, I know you’ll be kind to me, and we can walk side my side
now, I don’t need to chase you and you don’t need to tease me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">Lets hold hand, and walk
barefoot….</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">
It was challenging, it was hard, but one thing I can be proud of myself,
I never stop things coming to me, I never run away, I never try to be anyone
else but me, I was dancing through life, wherever it leads me, wherever it
takes me, I was just dancing and dancing and dancing, I can say I am pretty
blessed, ONCE I decided, I AM NOT A VICTIM, and I am not a survivor, I’m just
living, living life and live to the fullest. I just want to be beautiful,
beautiful person, beautiful being, and I want to make everything beautiful, for
me and for everyone. Nothing else!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Papyrus;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">
What you want, what I want, what everyone wants is the same; we all want
to be happy. Happiness…</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">Choose happiness!?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">But I never choose before,
I don’t know if I ever given the choice to choose, everything was given to me,
whether I ask for it or not, I never given the time to ask: what, why, where,
when, how. Everything were being shuffled in my mouth, I wasn’t given the time to
chew, to swallow, I chocked many times, but I did get the time to cry, I cry
when the night comes, I cry in my sleeps and I feel better.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">Have I wished being
rescue? I can’t remember, did I ask for my parents? I did ask for my mom, did I
ask for god? I don’t think so, I was mad at god, I was mad at my parents, I was
mad with the world, did I find a safe place? Thank to my imagination, I did.
Inside a book I read so many books, its my escape, I hide behind the character,
inside a story, pretend that I am the actress, I am the character then I have
my whole world, my whole imagination, and it’s mine. I know no one will hurt me
there, because I am the role, I play my role, real good.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">And I prayed: please don’t
take that away from me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">You can take my parents,
my life, my best friends away from me, but not my imagination.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">
Today I can smile, with peace in my heart, that is all worth it. The
journey and the process all worth it and I couldn’t do it without you, all the beautiful
people in my life, and I couldn’t ask more, it’s perfect!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">Now, I can say with proud:
I can choose, I can decide, after all this is my life, life that given to me,
even though we have to play ball till I get it, but I was persistent, I didn’t
give up, I play the game real good and honest and not to forget it was fun, it
was fun game.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">Go back to being 25, which
I am now. Am I happy? I am all along, was I content? No, I wasn’t, am I today?
Big time Yes! I am, I am content I am full, and I am happy.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">Being reunited with
yourself, found yourself and find what you are here for, they were the biggest
challenge for me, but all worth it, it helps me shaped my life and made me who
I am today. I know how I want to live my life, I know who I want to be, and I know
who I am. And I keep on dancing, this time I dance gracefully and I can dance
beautifully.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">
Nothing can make you happy except yourself, no one know better except
yourself, maybe you need a little hint to help you be happy from love ones, above
all, you are the only one who know what you want, but only when you are NOT
distracted with the world, or consumed by the world. Your heart knows the
truth, only when we listen to it, only when we let it open, not closed.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">
I have lost my father, couple of months ago, the man who half raised me,
who stayed with me, even though he never been a father to me, but he did till I
was 5, he was a great father till he suffered from his own mistake, we did had
a beautiful 4 years relationship. I grieved and I hoped I was a better daughter
to him, I hoped I forgive him a long time ago, but one thing I hold in my heart
and my life, our last farewell, I saw him smile with peace in his cold body
then I know and I believe that he was a happy man, he was happy. I wish I had
been there to hold his hands, but we did forgave each other, we did had that
relationship for 4 years before he died, that we were father and daughter, and
he was my father, my beloved father and I loved him very much and he is safe
now among the stars in the sky, and every time I miss him, I can just look up
and I know he is shining up there smiling at me, ah you foolish girl, I’m still
here for you, I heard him say, then I smile back, yes papa.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">
My mom called me once in a while, trying to crawl back into my life
after 21 years of absence, she is the woman who gave birth to me I am grateful
for that, but can she be a mother to me? I have so many mothers already; I
don’t think I need her. She can always be a woman who gave birth to Yasmin, she
can be a mother to her new family, they need her more than me, after all I am
doing good without her, I did needed her in my hard times growing up, but not
today, not tomorrow, not till I die. But my door is always open for her, I have
space for her, but she will never take her “mother” place in my life because
she left it a long time ago, when she quit being my mother and for my siblings.
I remembered I was 3 years old.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">
I wouldn’t have thought to choose my spiritual journey among other crazy
things I’ve done in my life, but I guess it’s the right path for me to keep me
sane and it helps me get the map of my life and helped me find my way back to
myself. It’s been crazy trips and crazy process and alas, here I am one whole
person instead of being pieces scattered across the universe.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">
25 is for me, coz it finally arrived just for me, the present from life
for me, a gift from mother earth, I can laugh right now wondering, was the package
stuck in the cloud on the way here? Ha…ha…ha, and mother said, “oh no dear,
just like your dad always do, when you’ve done your home work then come the
present.” Aha, got it!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>My Living Roomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09194043487980996436noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4597761028999296814.post-69977064275356209912011-07-15T12:42:00.000-07:002011-12-15T05:04:36.680-08:00we all have two wings<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: magenta; line-height: 21px;"></span></span><br /> <style>
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</style><span style="font-family: Papyrus;">Love,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLd06UJCAaaehhZo6ebwK-LuGmUW1ou4c51etG7mgEFqeo_F4YwTfht4H1Qc5MalZf1jyO8GrpGv0hBnKyeScuJufXPwSOou3vXancgwnZzUZsiYV6hvJGv1hWhbprdGKF4ERzb-3BJi0/s1600/images-2.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLd06UJCAaaehhZo6ebwK-LuGmUW1ou4c51etG7mgEFqeo_F4YwTfht4H1Qc5MalZf1jyO8GrpGv0hBnKyeScuJufXPwSOou3vXancgwnZzUZsiYV6hvJGv1hWhbprdGKF4ERzb-3BJi0/s1600/images-2.jpeg" /></a><span style="font-family: Papyrus;">Some said its painful,
some said its beautiful but please don’t give me any definition…</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">Lets experience love, let
love take you and bring you up to the sky even though on the way you will be
let go and let you fall hard, let it take you deep to the core of the earth and
burn you with its holly fire.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">I cant say I know but I do
can feel. Experience the pain and experience the joy. Love have no secret only
openness and honesty, love will never cheat you, love just love, the most
honest and beautiful feeling, love will give you what you need, not what you
want.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">We have two wings, its
beautiful and colorful and yet very strong. How could we not want to see it
fly? Don’t you want to see the color of our wings and how high we’ll reach the
sky? And I may, will take you fly with me and see the world from above, from my
imagination from my soul.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">I come to you coz I see
the promising love, the freedom of life, the soul of the earth.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">We may take something from
each of us, a little happiness and love to make us smiles to make us giggle
even we feel sorrow, to make us dreaming even though we're awake, to make us
whole even though we're broken.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">But don't forget to give
something back, give our love, give our<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>smiles, and give our joy but don’t forget to give little of our
craziness, but for sure we can’t have one thing, we can't have them. You cant
have me, her or him. We are one beautiful and unique single spirit. We are here
to share, NOT to own one another. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">Build an open nest not a
cage, build a home with an open doors, help fix their wings when its broken,
they/we will love, I believe we will steal love from heaven from thousands
angels if we can, even love from god, for them we’ll do anything. I'm sure we
will go crazy and go nuts just to make them happy. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">We can give, we can love,
we can share, we were made from love, live to love and we will die with love,
we have nothing but love.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">Let it come...</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">We don’t have to be near
our love ones to make sure they ok, we don’t have to make love to show them our
love, we don’t have to kiss their lips even though they longing for our
presents, we don’t have to hold them even though they lonely and alone, we are
here with them in every breath we take, we filled our lungs with love and
exhale and take away our grief. Love is with us….</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">Feel her/him in our blood
stream, feel her/him in our heart, have her/him in our thoughts, we will never
feel alone we will always feel loved. Feel our presents, embrace every moment,
its ours no one else and its beautiful.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">Remove your hidden agenda,
lessen your expectation, and have only freedom. Freedom that own by every
single being and every soul in this universe, but again, you don’t have to
choose you only need to surrender, feel free to hold it's hand and take it to dance...</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">It is for you, free to
continue your journey and flap your wings. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4F7xE34I-rpDzJ_cqFf6w94KMv4Z3qquiEw3LeG-ZAxVMJ7tuAC49oQt0DJWqAUUXlgu7CKKqPnuNZ-vVuzWbJu9whldSn7xIFygKfd7yhQZ5XQlGteBgunvbIcLdzsx0qZJ7-7F3Hto/s1600/images-1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4F7xE34I-rpDzJ_cqFf6w94KMv4Z3qquiEw3LeG-ZAxVMJ7tuAC49oQt0DJWqAUUXlgu7CKKqPnuNZ-vVuzWbJu9whldSn7xIFygKfd7yhQZ5XQlGteBgunvbIcLdzsx0qZJ7-7F3Hto/s320/images-1.jpeg" width="244" /></a><span style="font-family: Papyrus;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">Let's be in love,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">Namaste</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Papyrus;">* Can you imagine if we
all can love for the person it's self not the person we expect them to be, and
this not just for lovers, but our family, our best friends, our neighbor, and
strangers. I wonder what kind of life it would be? </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Papyrus;"> </span><span style="font-family: Papyrus;">*sitting under the tree
and staring at the moon, ahhhhh jauh kale!!!</span>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: magenta;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
</div>My Living Roomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09194043487980996436noreply@blogger.com0